AUSTRALIANS will gamble on two flies. crawling up a wall, they say. Aussie bookmaker Tom Waterhouse is currently betting on how much Edvard Munch’s painting The Scream will fetch at a Southey’s auction this month. Waterhouse has previously wagered on the winners of reality shows such as Dancing with the Stars and The Voice to … Continue reading Munching the Millions
Category: Aussie humour
Always Gai and often chatty but Mum’s the word now
Gai Waterhouse clams up though the boys John Singleton Tom Waterhouse and Andrew Johns have their sayGai Waterhouse was an actor but she was not in this film.Angelica Huston and John Cusack played Mother and Son in this one. The young woman on the right was not one of John Singleton's six wives.LEADING Australian racehorse trainer Gai … Continue reading Always Gai and often chatty but Mum’s the word now
Iraqi Icicle excerpt
The comic detective novel Iraqi Icicle is being released at Pine Rivers Art Gallery Queensland Australia on December 20 in a multi-art event as part of the world-wide A Big Project.Here is an edited excerpt. It was a week before I saw the cops again. They tried to kick down the door of my flat, which … Continue reading Iraqi Icicle excerpt
To sex or not to sex
THAT is the question: to sex or not to sex.A lot of websites are saying no to sex. On the first page of a Google search of mine, six websites had this exact same bait line: 'American Playwright David Mamet explains why no play or movie he writes or directs include explicit sex scenes.'Oh! Calcutta! you are … Continue reading To sex or not to sex
On the road to Damascus Paul’s book pummels your brain
IF The Book of Paulwere a music album, a critic might say it had cross-over appeal.It has a feel of a genre novel but it is hard to classify because of its elements of sci-fi, dystopia, psychological drama and comedy.I believe its publicity machine is running with supernatural thriller and that is a good as … Continue reading On the road to Damascus Paul’s book pummels your brain
Critical readers have their say about 7 Shouts
A fun read June 10, 2012By Jane.SBernie Dowling has a unique voice that really brings his columns to life. I highly recommend this to anyone that enjoys Australian humour. Even if you don't laugh you will be entertained and informed. My favourite is the Slanguage chapter. For the record I say 'marown'.Fun book for the person who … Continue reading Critical readers have their say about 7 Shouts
What’s hot these days?
A MAN who has been dead for 30 years, an 80-year-old car and a teenager are the hottest tickets of the week. More than 160,000 readers of British music magazine NME voted John Lennon as the greatest rock icon of the past 60 years.The top 10 are John Lennon Liam Gallagher David Bowie Alex Turner Kurt Cobain … Continue reading What’s hot these days?
Celia Shorojk film previews
The trouble with ageingFilm reviews by Celia ShorojkHope SpringsAlright you baby boomers, you happy now; they are even making films about sex for you.Kay (Meryl Streep) wants her and hubby Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) to zest up their three-decade relationship with Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones).For God’s sake buy a Winnebago.But no, she has to drag Arnie … Continue reading Celia Shorojk film previews
10 annoying things in fiction
“I know nothing about him,” I murmur.“…Thank you,” I murmur.“Um. Actually –” I mutter.“Raising the ordinary to the extraordinary,” I murmur.“It’s shrewd business,” he murmurs.“Very well,” she mutters, then exits.“Oh I’ll bear that in mind,” I murmur.– All the above quotes are from Chapter 1 of Fifty Shades of Murmuring and Muttering 10 annoying things … Continue reading 10 annoying things in fiction
Mohamed we adore you
Olympic Rant #18 On the fourteenth day God resumed workTHE squabbles and rancour of this year’s Ilympics were run into the ground on Day 14 as Great Britain, Jamaica and the United States turned in memorable performances.Britain's Mohamed Farah was stunning as he held off Ethiopia and Kenya to take gold in the 5000m. Mohamed … Continue reading Mohamed we adore you
Pirates steal sport
Olympic Rant #17 IOC what you are up toPirates of the High-O SeaREDCLIFFE Musical Theatre rendered the Gilbert & Sullivan musical The Pirates of Penzance as if it were carried on an invigorating ocean breeze.The large cast of many ages was obviously having fun and it was contagious for the audience.Pirates, along with The Mikado … Continue reading Pirates steal sport
Phoney war on drugs
Olympic rant #16 Journalism 101 Create a furoreTHE Bolt v Lewis drug brouhaha was a classic media beat-up. It raced across international television screens and newspaper front pages with a speed worthy of the central characters.Carl Lewis points the fingeronly to have it bitten offThere was little to the yarn and it was hardly news … Continue reading Phoney war on drugs
Daily Mail arrives every 24 hours
Olympic Rant #15 The Mailman deliversOLYMPIC coverage by the U.K. newspaper the Daily Mail is ranging from traditional adolescent-male nonsense to the downright weird. Extremely talented GB cyclist Victoria Pendleton is physically attractive and this has not passed across the Mail eagle eyes without notice.The Mail loves pedalling VickyCondoms in the athlete’s village were gold … Continue reading Daily Mail arrives every 24 hours
Winners and sinners
Olympic Rant #15 Third-rate Stuporpowers declare warTHE rivalry for Olympic medals between Great Britain and Australia is difficult to understand if you are not from one of the two countries. It is impossible for the surprisingly large number of Americans who think Australia is a European country near Germany.Jessica Ennis helps GB leap over OzAustralia … Continue reading Winners and sinners
Bolts in with the name game
Olympic Rant #12 Fast men are gone in well under 10THE power of words is more than a casual contribution to the living mythology that is Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt. He might not go Gaga on Twitter but he is the biggest name in Ol’ London Town as he defends his 100m Olympic title. Usain … Continue reading Bolts in with the name game
Games people play
Olympic Rant #11 Games reputation on the chopping blockWHEN I heard the IOC had booted out a referee and the coppers had lumbered an Olympic tweeter, I thought it best to turn my attention to an alternative spectacular, the annual Pine Rivers Show.No axes in the back at the Pine Rivers ShowIn the noble sport … Continue reading Games people play
Badminton should be good mittens one of my favourite things
Illympic Rant #10 Do those Commie bastards!!!IN an earlier rant I portrayed the efficiently murderous missiles being developed by a Russian-Indian partnership as shuttlecocks for the impending Illympic sport of water badminton. Little did I know that badminton would become the focus of a Sino-West showdown at the London Games.Life follows art in the world … Continue reading Badminton should be good mittens one of my favourite things
Pay a wet tribute to Phelps
Olympic Rant #9 Give the pool cleaner a medalONE important thing which sets sporting champions apart from the rest of us is they hat3e to lose.That also sets sociopaths apart from us too, but Michael Phelps is no sociopath. The Human Medal DetectorFew of us ever have a close relationship with a sporting champ, though … Continue reading Pay a wet tribute to Phelps
Pool brouhaha splashes at the shallow end
Olympic Rant #8 Dopey blasts dwarf win‘YOU’RE a drug cheat.’‘No you’re a drug cheat.’‘You’re a druggie.’Nah, you’re a druggie; nah, nah, nah.’Back and forth across the Olympic the pool, the accusations fly like shuttlecocks; it is water badminton.The latest design in shuttlecocks for water badmintonexpected to be an Olympic sport in 2020 Chinese swimmer Shiwen Ye was … Continue reading Pool brouhaha splashes at the shallow end
How the West has lost
Olympic Rant #7 More surprises than at a Tea Party Geography QuizUPSETS are the order of the first daze of the 2012 Games.Super swimmer Michael Phelps set the tone when he was unplaced in his first final, the 400m individual motley.Some thought Michael Phelps swam in a dinner suitPhelps … Continue reading How the West has lost
Shoot and Poke at the Olympics
Olympic rant *6 Asia tops the West They like to start the killing sports early at the Olympics.China’s Siling Yi took gold in the 1om women’s air-rifle shooting-at-things and South Korean Jongoh Jin won the men’s 10m air-pistol shooting-at-things.Jin wins shooting-at-thingsItalian Elisa Di Francisca won gold in the women’s poking-holes-in-people individual foil.A foil used in the sport … Continue reading Shoot and Poke at the Olympics
Shoot off the mouth for gold
Olympic Rant #5 Barkingly mad start to the gamesIT was a weird start to Games e competition with American super-swimmer Michael Phelps missing a medal in the 400m men’s individual medley won by teammate Ryan Lochte.Lochte one, Phelps nilPhelps described it as a “crappy race’’, presumably reflecting on his own performance rather than the collective … Continue reading Shoot off the mouth for gold
Olympics in song
Olympic rant #4 OIC bans BondWHAT were they thinking. giving mad Irish film maker Danny Boyle $42 million to stage the Opening Ceremony of the London? When the Big End of London goes for the cutting edge, it ends up bleeding badly.Danny Boy, the Pistols are callingThe Scots bung on the Edinburgh Comedy Festival, and, … Continue reading Olympics in song
Rand and rand the Olympic track
Olympic Ayn Rant # 3: The American AnthemI AM a big fan of political and corporate leaders aligning themselves with arts and literature to the merriment of the general public.London Louie B. Mayor Boris Johnson did a fine job of commissioning a modern version of the Olympic victory ode. In the spirit of the great … Continue reading Rand and rand the Olympic track
Mad Mayor forgets it is all Greek
Olympic Rant #2: The London Games Anthem WE all might worry about the London Lord Mayor’s insistence on an Olympic anthem in the style of an ancient Greek ode if we did not know Boris Johnson is a total loop-de-loop. Johnson delivered his first over-the-top serving of a of a Pindaric Ode for the London … Continue reading Mad Mayor forgets it is all Greek
Gonzoid rants on the London Olympics 2012
Olympic Rant #1 The PatronTHESE Olympic reports are written from the edge of the city and the jaws of hell.The city in question is Brisbane where, as in all fair cities of Australia, good drug and alcohol-fuelled citizens are regularly bashing one another senseless, and occasionally lifeless. Friday and Saturday nights are the preferred times … Continue reading Gonzoid rants on the London Olympics 2012
