Bernie’s Shorts

AGE does bring some privileges. Pity the poor teenagers being verbally and pictorially assaulted every night on television by state and federal governments.

I am not sure where the government received the notion we taxpayers wanted to spend a good few of our dollars telling our young what a disgusting bunch they are.

According to my venerable political leaders, if I was 16, I would be far from sweet.

If I ventured walking into the street at night I would either be pissed as a newt or drugged to the eyeballs.

The best that could happen would be if I vomited everywhere.
Otherwise I end up in a fight, run out to be killed by a car or die of a drug overdose.

If I was 17, I would drive at high speed and kill my girlfriend.
Learning nothing from that experience, I would speed again and put my next girlfriend in a wheelchair for life.

At 18, I kill by best male friend.

After that, I must mature because I don’t hurt anyone else.
I just turn myself into a quadriplegic.

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THE subliminal message behind all these scare ads is scary, considering most are coming from Labor Party governments.
These governments are forced to intervene or else the lives of our young will be “nasty, brutish and short’’.

In short, the Labor Party is pushing classical conservative political philosophy as exemplified by the writings of Thomas Hobbes.

Thanks Labor for doing your bit to create generations of dreadful conservatives.

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SPIN doctors are all dead and buried, replaced by conversationalists.
Neither politicians nor advertisers want to persuade any more; they just want to have a conversation with you and me.

An horrific oil spill of the South Queensland coast happened during the recent state election campaign.

Would-be premier Anna Bligh bemoaned appalled public reaction interrupted her conversation with the voters.

I had no idea I had been in conversation with Ms Bligh. I would have listened to her more politely.

I still didn’t know by what medium I was supposed to express my half of the conversation.

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A friend was down in Sydney for his nephew’s wedding on the weekend.
At Sydney airport a woman said she wanted to do an explosives residue test. She ran the scanner over him and the testing machine began to beep.

The woman got a fright and stepped back from the machine. He asked her what the beeping was and she said he had tested positive for TNT.

She began to fumble in a drawer and a bloke came over and said he would do it.

He cleaned the hand scanner and the machine and did two more scans which both came up negative.

Imagine how they would have panicked if he was middle–eastern and it came up a false positive.

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